A few bad apples can spoil the bunch, especially if those apples are black.
Discrimination against Black men is a common theme in the sex worker industry and there are many reasons for why it exists.
If you peruse the ads of female escorts, it’s normal to see them list their catering preferences towards a Gentleman or an Upscale Gentleman, in hopes of attracting clientele of a higher economic and social status. No Blocked Calls or Texts is another common restriction to screen anonymous callers or people who want to trade pictures and have lengthy text conversations that would be a waste of the worker’s time. And aside from mentions of things that should be part of a normal person’s daily hygienic regimen (a shower, fresh breath) there’s the list of services they will and won’t do.
Then it becomes racial.
No Black Men.
No Black Men Under 40.
I Don’t Date Black Men.
Sometimes there’s a ‘sorry’ at the end of the chosen disclaimer to lessen the blow of racial bias, but the apology doesn’t reduce the sting of discrimination for a decent Black man who wants nothing more than sexual satisfaction. It should also be noted that some Black female sex workers stamp these disclaimers against Black men as well.
A direct plunge into the waters of pay-for-play prejudice helped me get a better perspective about it. I once called an escort who was a beautiful, exotic mix of different ethnicities, and she didn’t have any restrictions for men on her ad other than being a gentleman. Since I have a nice voice and speak proper English, she was very polite and kind during our discussion. Then, the inaudible drum roll sounded as I asked if she was open to race. The cymbal crashed, her tone became more serious, and I was flooded with a barrage of questions as if I’d been detained by the Customs Department at the airport:
What race are you? How old are you? What profession are you in? What area do you live in?
She grilled me with even more questions about myself than those mentioned above. Even though I had no intent of acquiring her services, the interrogation would’ve killed any desire of mine had I intended to do so. But that might’ve been part of her avoidance plan to sway me from visiting. After ending the conversation, I wondered what would’ve happened had I not asked about or told her my race and been given the OK to show up at her place. Because of my voice, I’m sure she’d have expected a professional White guy. So, if she’d seen a Black man (though well dressed and groomed) through door’s peephole, she’d most likely have interrogated me from behind the door before opening it; that’s assuming she wouldn’t have ignored me altogether.
So who are the rotten black apples that make it bad for the rest of the bunch?
Cheapskates and Thieves. Some girls have noted experiences with Black customers that try to haggle down the price agreed to before meeting. Others have had Black men put the money on the dresser before the act, grab it, and rush out after the deed is done.
Well-Endowed Men. Some girls exclude Black men because of their size. Of course, not all Black men are hung like a horse and there’s plenty of scientific research to prove it, but myths and stereotypes prevail in this business. Since being a sex worker is a business and the body is the product, a sex session with any well-endowed man would require much more recovery time than the average (or below-average) customer who’s efforts aren’t muscle-exhausting, marathon performances. One or more of the escort’s orifices are the items being used repeatedly on a daily or nightly basis, so the smaller and least intrusive the better.
Disrespectful Youngsters. Young Black men have been typecast as being degrading to women both in and out of the bedroom thanks to certain aspects of hip-hop culture and the images it portrays of how men treat them; women should be referred to as bitches and hoes while having alcohol poured over the bodies and doing every sexual act the man wants. Some escorts have stated that younger Black men can be rougher and demeaning than their non-Black customers, reiterating what was mentioned about minimal product damage.
Pimps. The majority of pimps are Black men and some of them don’t want their girls to service other Black men in fear they might be lured away from the pimp or the escort business altogether. That would be a loss of income for the pimp, so they think it’s best to service men who aren’t Black. But the faulty logic in that restriction is that a client of a different race could lure her away just the same. However, it seems the biggest reason for the exclusion of Black men comes from pimps who hunt down independent sex workers and force them (sometimes violently) to work under their control.
What every man, regardless of race, should realize is that sex workers don’t do the job for the enjoyment of sex. It’s a business; the oldest form of commerce that exists in humanity. The women are there to make money and their bodies are the products used to generate revenue. The clients they entertain usually aren’t men they’d seek out for pleasure in real life and the sex they’re providing is an illusion of gratification that’s meant to make the client feel wanted and to satisfy his needs. There’s no enjoyment for the worker except the money she’s given for creating the illusion.
And, since sex workers are using their bodies as the means to create the illusion, discrimination laws don’t apply and they can refuse service to anyone they choose. Not to mention their profession is illegal in most parts of the world, so there’s no reason to start a social movement against the biases of an illegal profession without attempting to eliminate the profession altogether.
Discrimination is an ordinary experience in a Black man’s life, even in the most trivial of situations. The denial of basic, sexual pleasure from those who offer it should be no surprise, especially when there are some who’ve distorted the perception of suitable Black men who bear no malicious intent towards anyone, sex worker or not.
If the rotten black apples spoil the bunch, let them rot… there are still choices of workers out there who’d prefer the decent and ripened apples of all kinds.